she loves me
she loves me not

she loves me
she loves me not

she loves me
she loves me not

she loves me
she loves me not

There is a love of art which
transcends better judgement.

Such is the reationship which
I am in and out of about
every other second. It is cerebral,
it is occasionally physical. It is
definitely the oddest attraction I have
ever had. This girl/woman attracts
the attention of nearly every man who
walks by her. I suppose I present some
sort of relative stability just because I am
decades older. Fact is that
she represents some sort of incredible
seed thought which began many years ago
when I was living with a beautiful woman in
Jamaica. Everything was good between this
wonderful blonde woman who was a great person,
yet we fundamentally were not the best match.

One day I sat down on the veranda with my portable
computer and began to get honest with myself
about what I was looking for in a companion, in
a lover, in a goddess. I composed something which
felt like reality. Now some seven years later I have
seen this seed thought manifest three times.

Timing is everything in the city.
After an incense buying trip into the Mission,
I skated out of the Embarcadero station
and made my way back to the boat.
Oddly enough there were cycle cops
blocking all the Westbound traffic.
Cool...I said to myself and hopped out into
the street free of cars.
Something was happening.
Soon I saw it was a movie production.
As I skated back onto the sidewalk,
I noticed Cheech Marin sitting in that orange
car that he and Don Johnson made famous
in this city.
He smiled wryley at me as I passed.
It was either the novelty of seeing me or
the joke Don Johnson seemed to be telling
Cheech. Some images stay in my mind forever.
Celebrities are all over the place these days.

Their big production is almost an industry in
this city of artists and freaks.

This day was filled with suprises
right down to the end. Thoughts
of creativity abounding. In Art, in
Business Am thinking of the project
to do large prints of the atom bomb
and then do my marking prayers over
them. I visualize a whole show like
this.
Very high day filled with thousands of
pieces of art in my mind's eye.